Jon Haylett and Gary Davison

Gary Davison, author of the brilliant Fat Tuesday is doing a four part feature on fellow Paperbooks author Jon Haylett on his website http://www.gary-davison.com/.

Below is a taster, Jon's answers are in green:

'What would you say to ………… if you could have a face to face with them for thirty seconds. Here are his answers:

Simon Cowell

Hi, Simon - I know you must be someone excruciatingly famous because that’ll be why Gary’s introduced us but… I’m sorry…., I’ve never heard of you. Could you give me a potted life history in 30 seconds… or, even better, less?

Katie Price (AKA Jordan, the glamour model)

[I've heard of her]

Hi Katie - in these deflationary times it must be wonderful to have such substantial, portable assets. Heard you wrote a novel and sold 300,000 copies in the first 6 weeks. I’m badly in need of your advice. Are you free for a couple of hours one-to-one? Or is it two-to-one?

Zimbabwe Head of State, Robert Mugabe

So the white man gave lithe and beautiful Zimbabwe back to you, young, fresh and so, so full of promise - and you promptly raped her. Now you ask us for £11 billion in aid, no strings attached, as a minimum amount to repair the damage while, at the same time, squabbling over who gets the latest consignment of brand new Mercedes Benzes - E280s at $50,000 a throw. Take a hike.'

To read the blog in full click here!